150 Things Not to Do or Say at Your Eagle BOR
(Based on page on thesis defense by Peter Dutton, Jim Lalopoulos, and
Alison Sullivan)

1."Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem..."
2.Charge 25 cents a cup for coffee. 
3."Charge the mound" when a committee member beans you with a high fast
question.
4.Describe parts of your write-up using interpretive dance. 
5."Musical accompaniment provided by..." 
6.Stage your own death/suicide. 
7.Lead the specators in a Wave.
8.Have a sing-a-long.
9."You call THAT a question? Why the heck did they make you a leader?"
10."Ladies and Gentlemen, as I dim the lights, please hold hands and
concentrate so that we may channel the spirit of Lord Baden-Powell..."
11.Have bodyguards outside to "discourage" certain leaders from sitting in.
12.Puppet show. 
13.Group prayer. 
14.Animal sacrifice to the god of the Underworld. 
15.Sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of the Court of Honor.
16."I'm sorry, I can't hear you - there's a banana in my ear!" 
17.Imitate Groucho Marx. 
18.Mime. 
19.Hold a Tupperware party. 
20.Have a bikini-clad model be in charge of changing the overheads. 
21."Everybody rhumba!!" 
22."And it would have worked if it weren't for those meddling kids..." 
23.Charge a cover and check for ID. 
24.Come in wearing your uniform backwards.
25.Beg to be allowed to light a campfire in the middle of the room.
26.Smoke machines, dramatic lighting, pyrotechnics... 
27.Use a Super Soaker to point at people. 
28.Surreptitioulsy fill the room with laughing gas. 
29.Door prizes and a raffle. 
30."Please phrase your question in the form of an answer..." 
31."And now, a word from our sponsor..." 
32.Present your entire talk in iambic pentameter. 
33.Whine piteously, beg, cry... 
34.Switch halfway through to Pig Latin. Or Finnish Pig Latin. 
35.The Emperor's New Slides ("only fools can't see the writing...") 
36.Table dance (you or an exotic dancer). 
37.Fashion show. 
38."Yo, a smooth shout out to my homies..." 
39."I'd like to thank the Academy..." 
40.Minstrel show (blackface, etc.). 
41.Start off with 10 minutes of movie trailers.
42.Pass the collection basket. 
43.Lead off with "Boy a cold one would sure taste good about now!"
44.Black tie only. 
45."Which reminds me of a joke - A Black guy, a Chinese guy, and a Jew
walked into a bar..."
46.Incite a revolt. 
47.Hire the Goodyear Blimp to circle the building. 
48.Release a flock of doves. 
49.BOR by proxy. 
50.Pause every five minutes to lead the BOR in the Macarena
51.Answer every question with "Mind your own business."
52."There will be a short quiz after my presentation..." 
53.Ask each of the committee members in turn to marry you.
54.Bring your pet boa. 
55.Tell ghost stories. 
56.Do a "show and tell". 
57.Food fight. 
58.Challenge a leader to a duel. Slapping him with a glove is optional. 
59.Halftime show. 
60."Duck, duck, duck, duck... GOOSE!" 
61."OK - which one of you farted?" 
62.Rimshot. 
63.Sell those big foam "We're number #1" (sic) hands. 
64.Pass out souvenir matchbooks. 
65.3-ring BOR.
66."Tag - you're it!" 
67.Circulate a vicious rumor that the Dead will be opening, making sure that
it gets on the radio stations, and escape during all the commotion.
68.Post signs: "Due to a computer error at the District Office, the original
room is not available, and the board of review has been relocated to (Made-up
non-existent room number)"
69.Hang a pinata over the table and have a strolling mariachi band. 
70.Make each member remove an item of clothing for each question he asks. 
71.Rent a billboard on the highway proclaiming "Thanks for passing me
Leaders X,Y, and Z" -- BEFORE your BOR happens. 
72.Have a make-your-own-sundae table during the BOR. 
73.Make committee members wear silly hats. 
74.Simulate your project with a virtual reality system for the committee.
75.Do a soft-shoe routine. 
76.Throw a masquerade BOR, complete with bobbing for apples and
pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.
77.Use a Greek Chorus to highlight important points. 
78."The responsorial psalm can be found on page 124 of the report..." 
79.Tap dance. 
80.Vaudeville. 
81."I'm sorry, I didn't say 'SIMON SAYS any questions?'. You're out."
82.Flex and show off those massive pecs. 
83.Dress in top hat and tails. 
84.Hold a pre-BOR pep rally, complete with cheerleaders, pep band, and a
bonfire.
85.Detonate a small nuclear device in the room. Or threaten to. 
86.Shadow puppets. 
87.Show slides of your last vacation. 
88.Put your overheads on a film strip. Designate a leader to be in charge of
turning the strip when the tape recording beeps.
89.Same as #88, but instead of a tape recorder, go around the room making a
different person read the pre-written text for each picture.
90."OK everybody, heads down on the desk until you show me you can behave."
91.Call your committee chair "sweetie". 
92.Have everyone pose for a group photo. 
93.Instant replay. 
94.Laugh maniacally. 
95.Talk with your mouth full. 
96.Start speaking in tongues. 
97.Explode. 
98.Implode. 
99.Spontaneously combust. 
100.Answer every question with a question. 
101.Moon everyone in the room after you are done. 
102."Laugh, will you?  They laughed at Galileo, they laughed at Einstein..."
103.Hand out 3-D glasses. 
104."I'm rubber, you're glue..." 
105.Go into labor.
106.Give your entire speech in a "Marvin Martian" accent. 
107."I don't know - I didn't write this." 
108.Before your BOR, build trapdoors underneath all the seats. 
109.Swing in through the window, yelling a la Tarzan. 
110.Lock the committe chair out of the room.
111.Roll credits at the end. Include a "key grip", and a "best boy". 
112.Hang a disco ball in the center of the room. John Travolta pose optional. 
113.Invite the homeless. 
114."I could answer that, but then I'd have to kill you" 
115.Hide. 
116.Get a friend to ask the first question. Draw a blank-loaded gun and
"shoot" him. Have him make a great scene of dying (fake blood helps). Turn to
the stunned committee and ask "any other questions?"
117.Same as #116, except use real bullets. 
118."Well, I saw it on the Internet, so I figured it might be a good idea..."
119.Wear clown makeup, a clown wig, clown shoes, and a clown nose.
120.Use the word "antidisestablismentarianism" in every answer.
121.Play Project Report Mad Libs. 
122.Try to use normal printed paper on the overhead projector. 
123.Do your entire BOR operatically. 
124.Recite the Oath and Law backwards.
125.Flash "APPLAUSE" and "LAUGHTER" signs. 
126.Mosh pit. 
127.Have cheerleaders. ("Gimme an 'A'!!") 
128.Have Dick Vitale do the commentary.
129."I say Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!" 
130.Claim political asylum. 
131.Traffic reports every 10 minutes on the 1's. 
132.Introduce the "Eyewitness Review Team". Near the end of your talk, cut to
Jim with sports and Alison with the weather. 
133.Live radio and TV coverage. 
134.Hang a sign that says "Thank you for not asking questions" 
135.Bring a microphone. Point it at the questioner, talk-show style. 
136.Use a TelePrompTer 
137."Take my wife - please!" 
138.Refuse to answer questions unless they phrase the question as a limerick.
139.Have everyone bring wine glasses. When they clink the glasses with a
spoon, you have to kiss your Project Write-Up.
140.Offer a toast. 
141.Firewalk. 
142.Start giving your presentation 15 minutes early. 
143.Do the entire BOR while standing on your head.
144.Swoop in with a cape and tights, Superman style. 
145."By the power of Greyskull..." 
146.Use any past or present Saturday Night Live catchphrase. Not. 
147.Stand on the table.
148.Sell commercial time for your talk and ad space on your overheads. 
149.Hold a raffle. 
150."You think this was bad? Let me read this list to show you what I COULD
have done..."